Start Managing the Ups and Downs: When Homeschooling is Hard (and When It Isn’t)

If you are struggling with homeschooling, you aren’t alone. Homeschool overwhelm, stress, and fatigue are all common.

Homeschooling your children comes with a variety of emotions. Some days are great. Everything clicks, you and your child are on the same page, and you feel fulfilled watching your child flourish right in front of you. But, homeschooling can lead to a variety of negative emotions, too. Struggling with homeschooling is common, and many parent-educators experience stress, frustration, and other similar types of emotions—whether occasionally or on a daily basis.

As a parent-educator, it is important to be able to effectively manage both the ups and the downs. When homeschooling is hard, you should use coping strategies to help yourself get through the day. When homeschooling feels easy, you should take advantage of this—and you should leverage the opportunity to do even more to foster an enjoyable, productive, and memorable home school experience.

When You Are Struggling with Homeschooling

Whether you are starting home school or you have been homeschooling for a while now, you are bound to struggle from time to time. While home school can feel easy in the moment when everything clicks, overall, homeschooling your children (and managing all that this entails) is not an easy process.

And that’s okay.

So, if you are struggling with homeschooling, what can (and should) you do? Here are some tips for managing many of the negative emotions that parent-educators experience:

1. If You Are Feeling Overwhelmed

Homeschool overwhelm is common among both new and experienced parent-educators. If you are feeling overwhelmed, it is important not to let this overwhelm cause you to feel paralyzed. Give yourself space to breathe, and then focus on following the plan you have in place. Also, remember how far you’ve come. You’ve done a lot to get where you are with homeschooling today, and this shows that you are capable of moving forward.

2. If You Are Feeling Unmotivated

If you are feeling unmotivated, think back to why you started homeschooling. You are homeschooling for a reason (and perhaps lots of reasons)—and focusing on these reasons can help you recenter. Focusing on your child can help you recenter as well. You aren’t just homeschooling your child—you are homeschooling for your child.

Also, if you are feeling unmotivated, it can help to keep in mind that home school works. The Foundation for Economic Education (FEE) reports that, “[h]omeschooled children fared better than children who attended public schools in many categories,” and cites a study from Harvard University which found that, “homeschoolers turn out happy, well-adjusted, and engaged.” So, know that you are on a good path, and keep in mind that the more you put into homeschooling your kids, the more your kids will get out of it.

3. If You Are Feeling Stressed

If you are feeling stressed, try to identify the specific reason why you are feeling stressed in this moment. Is homeschool overwhelm causing you stress? Are other priorities causing you stress? Are you stressed because you feel out of control, disorganized, or behind? Once you understand why you are feeling stressed, you can put your stress into perspective, and then you can focus on taking steps to address the specific issue (or issues) at hand.

4. If You Are Feeling Disorganized

Effective homeschool organization is essential to effective homeschooling. As a result, if you are feeling disorganized, this can negatively impact your (and your child’s) home school experience in various ways.

For parent-educators who are feeling disorganized, one of our main tips is to start small. See what you can get done in 5 or 10 minutes. It’s probably more than you think. Then, once you’ve made some progress toward getting things organized, set aside some time—on the weekend if necessary—to get things back in order. While organization is important, it is also important not to blow organizing out of proportion. Getting organized (or reorganized) is possible, and it will be possible in a weekend in most cases.

5. If You Are Feeling Tired

If you are feeling tired, plan a quiet home school day. Give your child self-directed activities, and take a rest during your child’s work cycle. If one quiet day isn’t enough to help you feel rested, prioritize sleep over the next couple of weeks. It’s okay (and can be productive) to take a break from exercising if your body is worn out, and it’s completely fine to cook some frozen meals or order delivery instead of cooking a meal from scratch every night.

6. If You Are Feeling Bored

If you are feeling bored, focus on the parts of homeschooling you enjoy the most. Do you enjoy home school because homeschooling is hard? Has your routine become too mundane? Or, do you feel like you’re constantly planning and organizing when what you really want to be doing is enjoying experiences with your children? Similar to when you are feeling stressed, when you are feeling bored, you should focus on figuring out which specific parts of your day or routine you need to change.

7. If You Are Feeling Lonely

While many parents look forward to spending their days with their children when they start homeschooling, many parents also find themselves feeling surprisingly lonely. When it’s just you and your children, the lack of interaction with other adults can start to feel isolating for some people.

If you are feeling lonely, focus on being present in the moment with your child. Really try to engage with them and connect with them emotionally. Then, plan a night out. Reconnect with friends with whom you’ve lost touch, or schedule a dinner with an old colleague to catch up on what’s going on in their life.

8. If You Are Feeling Worried

Worry is a common feeling among parent-educators who are struggling with homeschooling. If you are feeling worried, whether about the present or the future, try not to let your worry turn into overwhelm. Instead of focusing on the big picture, focus on taking small steps. What can you do today to start helping yourself feel more confident? Then, what can you do to follow up on today’s step tomorrow?

9. If You Are Feeling Frustrated

If you are feeling frustrated, focus on what you can control—both in the moment and in the days and weeks to come. Don’t take your frustrations out on yourself or your child. Continue to be both constructive and productive. It can be helpful to keep in mind that not every day is going to be perfect; and, once you’ve done something productive, it can be helpful to acknowledge your effort and the good it has done (or that it will do in the future).

10. If You Are Feeling Behind

Feeling behind is commonly associated with feeling out of control. If you are behind, your home school days will most likely feel out of control, and this can lead to many (if not all) of the emotions discussed above.

When you are feeling behind, it is important to prioritize making sure you have a plan in place. If you need to spend some time planning so that you can catch back up, the time you spend planning will be well worth the investment.

When You Are in Your Homeschooling Groove

Now, what if things are going well? When you are in your homeschooling groove, this is an opportunity to make things even better. Whether you take advantage of feeling energetic to introduce your child to something new or you take advantage of feeling motivated to get ahead for the future, now is the time to take action.

With this in mind, here are some tips for how to leverage your positive emotions related to homeschooling:

1. If You Are Feeling Motivated

If you are feeling motivated, use your motivation to get ahead on your planning. Revisit things that have been lingering (like preparing new lesson materials or revamping your home school space), and take advantage of your motivation to be as productive as possible.

2. If You Are Feeling Creative

If you are feeling creative, plan something new. Plan a lesson that you’ve been thinking about for a while, or plan an outing or field trip instead (or do both). Alternatively, you can create a new material or repurpose an old one. Both of these are great ways to exercise your creativity while being friendly to your home school budget (and the environment) at the same time.

3. If You Are Feeling Connected

If you are feeling connected, take advantage of this to have a meaningful conversation with your child. Talk about how things are going, and ask about their feelings while sharing yours. This is also a great time to plan a social event, especially if you tend to be more introverted most of the time. Make a plan, then reach out to get something on the calendar.

4. If You Are Feeling Engaged

If you are feeling engaged, power through a project that you’ve been putting off for a while now. Use your focus to sit down and put in the time and effort that you might not be prepared to devote otherwise.

5. If You Are Feeling Fulfilled

If you are feeling fulfilled, share this with your child. This is a great emotion to experience, and it’s great to let your children know that working with them has a meaningful and positive impact on your life. Here too, you should ask your children how they are feeling as well. Do they also feel fulfilled? If so, why? If not, why not?

6. If You Are Feeling Grateful

If you are feeling grateful, use this as an opportunity to five back. Plan something special for your child, or do something unexpected for a member of your community. This could be an individual (like a neighbor or a fellow home school parent), or it could be a community space or organization (like a coop or library).

7. If You Are Feeling Curious

If you are feeling curious, consider researching a new subject that you are planning to teach your child in the near future. Go more in depth than you normally would, and use this to show your child that they can go more in depth, too. Alternatively (or in addition), learn more about a specific aspect of homeschooling. For example, if you would like to be more organized or start making materials yourself, there is plenty for you to explore.

8. If You Are Feeling Inquisitive

If you are feeling inquisitive, dig deeper into a question that has stuck with you for weeks, months, or maybe even years. Borrow a book from the library instead of just searching online. Once you’ve found the answer, share your process with your child.

9. If You Are Feeling Energetic

If you are feeling energetic, take home school outside. There are plenty of home school outdoor activities you can do for free or minimal cost, or you can plan a more substantial outing or field trip. To take advantage of your energy—and perhaps introduce your child to something new—consider a physical activity like biking, hiking, or rock climbing.

10. If You Are Feeling Eager

If you are feeling eager, plan your lessons for this week and next. It’s always good to get ahead when you have the time and mental energy to do so. Not only can this help you avoid homeschool overwhelm and many of the other negative emotions discussed above, but it can also free up time for yourself in the future.

5 Tips for Managing (or Leveraging) Your Emotions While Homeschooling

Regardless of how you are feeling, managing (or leveraging) your emotions will improve the home school experience for everyone. It’s okay to have negative emotions about homeschooling—many parent-educators do—the important thing is that you do not let these emotions take control.

With this in mind, here are five tips that we encourage you to carry with you as you continue on your homeschooling journey:

• Think About (and Acknowledge) How You Feel Each Day – Take a moment to think about how you feel each day (and perhaps at various points during the day). Acknowledge how you feel, even if you don’t feel great. Again, that’s completely normal, and ignoring a negative emotion won’t make it go away.
• Feeling Negative? Use the Strategies Discussed Above – If you’re feeling negative, use the strategies we discussed above. Empower yourself to take control of your situation. If you’re feeling stressed, disorganized, or overwhelmed with home school, take it one step at a time.
• Feeling Positive? Take Advantage and Seize the Day – If you’re feeling positive, take advantage of this and seize the day. Do something new. Do more than you normally would. Putting in extra effort can often have a snowball effect, and it can pay dividends in the future.
• Don’t Be Afraid to Try Something New – Whether you feel like you are in a rut or you are feeling ready to seize the day, you shouldn’t be afraid to try something new. When you are experiencing negative emotions related to homeschooling, a change of routine (or a change of scenery) can often make a big difference. Likewise, if you are feeling creative, inquisitive, or eager, now is a great time to try something that is a little bit out of the box or plan a new experience.
• Keep Track of What Works (and What Doesn’t) – As you try new things, you should keep track of what works (and what doesn’t). This is a great thing to do in your home school planner. If something works, keep it in your back pocket for the future. If it doesn’t, think about why, and then think about what you can do differently next time.

FAQs: Managing All of the Emotions that Come with Homeschooling Your Children

Why Don’t I Like Homeschooling My Children? I Thought I Would Love It.

Struggling with home school is common. Even parent-educators who were all-in when they started homeschooling can fall out of love (or fail to fall in love) with the process.

If you don’t like homeschooling, it will be important for you to think critically about why this is the case. Are you feeling overwhelmed, frustrated, or bored? If so, these are challenges that can typically be overcome with an informed and thoughtful approach. For you and your children’s benefit, you will want to get started sooner rather than later.

How Can I Get Caught Up if I Am Behind on Homeschooling?

If you are behind on homeschooling, this can be a significant source of overwhelm, stress, and worry. When you are behind, creating a plan to get back to where you need to be should be your priority. You will want to come up with a step-by-step process for yourself to execute—and you will want to document this process on a “to do” list or calendar.

How Can I Keep Everything Organized When Homeschooling?

Disorganization can also be a significant source of overwhelm, stress, and worry for home school parents. If you are struggling with organization, you’ll want to set aside some time to get things in order. Before this time comes, you will also want to create a plan. We have resources and guides available on our website that you can use for organizing your home school schedule, space, and materials.

How Can I Overcome Homeschool Overwhelm?

If you are struggling with homeschool overwhelm, you should avoid letting general fears or worries stand in the way of homeschooling successfully. You should try to think about why you feel overwhelmed, and you should make a list of everything that comes to mind. Whether your list has two items or ten, this will help you identify the steps you take to start feeling in control once again. It’s okay to start small—the key is to get started, and it’s also worth reminding yourself how far you’ve already come since the beginning of your home school journey.

How Can I Make Sure Homeschooling My Children is Worth It?

As with all aspects of homeschooling, it is important to make conscious decisions about what you want out of home school for your child. What are your goals as a parent-educator? What do you want to help your child achieve?

In terms of making sure home school is “worth it,” this means different things to different parent-educators. Once you define your approach to home school, then you can shift your focus to building a plan that will give your child the opportunity to succeed.

Get Help Managing the Ups and Downs of Home School

As we said above, if you are struggling with homeschooling, you are not alone. Homeschooling is hard, and different parents find it hard for different reasons. Our monthly subscription plan is designed to help ease the burdens and stresses of homeschooling—and to help parents find joy in the homeschooling process. Learn more about our subscription plan for home school parents.